I have never been a shy person, and it’s a quality I enjoy in people as well. One thing I can always count on to not be even a little bit shy? The new items that roll through Trader Joe’s each month.
This month was certainly not full of wallflowers, that’s for sure. This was a chest-puffed-out, max-capacity, spicy-tangy-crunchy, full-steam-ahead kind of month for new items at the grocer. Of course there are a couple of misses that come with some big flavor swings, but by and large there are plenty of new items — along with my tried-and-true Trader Joe’s staples — I’m more than glad to get acquainted with this month.
1. Spicy Spuds, $4.49 for 20 ounces
Every weekend I hear the siren song of my neighborhood bar’s breakfast burritos. I’m usually unsuccessful at resisting these cheesy egg- and potato-filled monstrosities that are the size of my forearm, but now I’ve got a fighting chance, thanks to these patatas bravas-inspired potatoes. These pack so much complexity to the creamy-crisp square inch, with a punchy bit of lime, cayenne pepper, and smoky-sweet paprika. These potatoes work just as well in a homemade breakfast burrito as they do as part of a tapas spread.
2. Toasted Coconut Mini Sheet Cake, $5.99 for 16 ounces
Another Trader Joe’s mini sheet cake is joining the already impressive lineup (they’re one of the best desserts in the store), and the flavors in this newbie are diabolically good. The toasted coconut has easily climbed to the top of my favorites list.
When I say coconut, I mean it: There’s plenty of chewy toasted shreds within the cake itself, as well as in the tangy cream cheese-based frosting that makes this cake a tropical daydream. I’d usually say these cakes are so ready for embellishments and decorations (maybe chocolate for us Mounds fans), but this creamy-chewy-rich cake doesn’t need a darn thing.
3. Korean Bugak, $2.99 for 1.76 ounces
The only thing not to like about these crunchy seaweed-rice snacks is how small the bag is. Other than that, there’s only love in my heart for these sweet-salty, almost kettle-corn-adjacent chips. TJ’s new Korean Bugak are light, puffy, crackly, and reminiscent of shrimp chips. Each bite-size crisp is a salty seaweed and sweet sticky rice marriage that really merits a bigger bag (and a nice cold beer).
4. Sweet Onion Style Pretzel Twists, $3.69 for 12 ounces
Sure, I never took calculus, but the math is simple: Trader Joe’s + onion-flavored things = a really good time. The French onion popcorn still haunts me with its seasonal absence, but I think I’ll be fine because of these new Sweet Onion Style Pretzel Twists.
This is also another instance of how Trader Joe’s really nails loading a can’t-put-down seasoning into all the nooks and crannies of a snack. Each twirly bite is a little different — a little sweet, a little salty, a little savory, with an onion-y bite to keep your hand in the bag. Save some pretzel crumbs to coat a chicken breast for even more of a good time.
5. Patagonian Scallops, $9.99 for 16 ounces
I would be totally fine on a desert island — especially if that island is surrounded by scallops. Specifically, this island would be really great for me if it’s located by a motherlode of these delightfully diminutive (and ceviche-ready!) Patagonian scallops.
They’re both on the sweeter and the petite-er side. I’d honestly need a lot of desert island time to figure out what these scallops can’t improve, but so far I’ve crossed pesto pasta and risotto off that list.
1. Thai-Style Yellow Curry Chips, $2.99 for 6 ounces
A single bite of these chips was all it took to elicit an immediate “no,” as I closed the bag. Let me say that this rarely happens for me — especially a product I was beyond excited to try. These just need a few more revisions.
The curry flavor is kind of there, but it’s definitely not a fully rich, savory, coconut-y yellow curry experience. These need a fattier, creamier heft to the seasoning to really carry the flavor to its fullest expression; otherwise it feels like someone gifted you only the second half of a good book.
2. Jambalaya, $5.49 for 16 ounces
This saucy-spicy rice’s flavor proximity to the now-departed chimichurri rice (RIP) was a welcome surprise, but this just misses too many marks of a classically good jambalaya. Namely, it’s really salty. Also, this is not two servings — I’d say it’s one-and-a-quarter or one-and-a-half for me.
Also, where’s the chicken? The shrimp? What are you hiding, jambalaya? The two-to-one ratio of andouille sausage to rice is also kind of odd, but maybe my bag was just extra generous. In short, this jambalaya left me with a lot of questions and no answers.
What new Trader Joe’s items are you most excited about? Tell us in the comments below.
