For years, I avoided events that revolved around food, and I didn’t like to let people see me eat. Even eating with my peers was an obstacle for me when I was in treatment. I thought people were looking at what I was eating and judging it, and I felt self-conscious about being messy or using my hands. Sometimes I still struggle with those feelings.
On the other hand, it was cooking with others that really helped me become more comfortable engaging with food in a social setting. I remember one specific evening when some friends came over and we decided to make a pasta dish. They were accomplished cooks, and I was just assisting, but there was something about the great energy in the kitchen that night that was infectious. I was hands-on in the food preparation process for the first time, and I remember thinking, “I might really like this.” The fear was stripped away because we were creating the food together. I was actually eager to eat the meal, both because I had helped make it and because I could see how food can be at the center of a positive social ritual.
That evening was a game changer. It showed me that there was joy in sharing the act of cooking. The community of people who love to come together around food felt really beautiful and exciting. Evelyn Tribole, coauthor of Intuitive Eating, points out that sharing food you’ve made with others can feel really nurturing and supportive for people with disordered eating. Knowing that food can bring you together with others rather than set you apart is still another way you can find freedom in the kitchen.
Cooking with love is about giving yourself food that nourishes you at every level. I don’t delve too deeply into the health aspects of cooking in my book, One Plate at a Time, because my main goal is to help you find more freedom around food, not less. But since I started shopping and cooking regularly, I’ve become much more aware of the quality and wholesomeness of what I eat. And while I will never pronounce any foods “bad,” one almost inevitable result of cooking more often is that you will end up eating less processed food. In the past couple of years, I’ve become committed to living a good, long life. Cooking is such a big part of that.
Cook from the book
An alcohol-free version of penne alla vodka from Demi Lovato’s cookbook, “One Plate at a Time.”
Reprinted with permission from One Plate at a Time: Recipes for Finding Freedom With Food by Demi Lovato © 2026. Published by Flatiron Books. Photographs copyright © 2026 by Matt Armendariz. Buy the full book from demicookbook.com.
One Plate at a Time, Demi Lovato
