For the last four years of taste-testing Trader Joe’s items, I’ve tried to uncover some of the grocer’s most delicious mysteries. The top ones I’ve tried to tackle include, “Whose idea was this?” and also “Did we really need this?” but mostly “Where would we be without this grocery item?”
This month’s new groceries managed to elicit all these questions and more. (Spoiler: No, we really didn’t need most of these completely optional yet incredibly fun-to-eat items.) And while I may never know which R&D masterminds are to blame for these (mostly amazing) new items, I can solidly say we are better off for having them. Here’s the best of the bunch, and two you’ll probably want to skip.
1. Detroit-Style Pepperoni Pizza, $7.99 for 24 ounces
Detroit-style pizza, much like its nearby cousin that lives in Chicago, is one of those pizza styles that’s a bit of a task if you’re making it at home. I typically start my own with a loaf of focaccia as the buttery base, but now I can basically chuck out all my packets of yeast because Trader Joe’s restaurant-level pie lets me skip to the good part: the eating of this buttery, crispy-edged spicy-sweet pepperoni-loaded pizza.
It packs in all the decadence of the slices you could get at your favorite pizza parlor. My only note? I hope the next batch has a tad bit more cheese. Detroit-style is notable for how cheese is sprinkled onto the crust prior to sauce and more cheese, and I felt like it got a bit lost here. That being said, the crust is easily the best by far that I’ve found in Trader Joe’s frozen section.
2. Gözlemes, $4.99 for 12.7 ounces
Cheese + bread is a hard-to-mess-up combo, and these Turkish flatbreads are playing their A-game in so many different ways. First off, they are positively BEDEVILED with cheese (three types, in fact): A briny, salty goat cheese (tulum) is folded in with buttery kashkaval (aka “Balkan cheddar”), and mozzarella for maximum cheese-pull stretchiness.
As I waited patiently for my flatbread to toast up on both sides, I pressed ever-so-gently on it with a spatula, which led to the most decadent cheese-splosion. I ate it immediately, caution be damned. Would burn my mouth again, 12/10.
3. Coconut Cashew Candy Clusters, $4.99 for 6.3 ounces
Some people have their life together and never skip Girl Scout Cookie Season (GSCS), and I’m happy for them. Really! Me? I somehow seem to miss this crucial window of time every other year, leaving me Samoa-less.
Well, as long as Trader Joe’s keeps these Coconut Cashew Candy Clusters on the shelves I don’t have to be too down in the dumps. They mimic all the crunch and fudgy chew of Samoas/Caramel DeLites with more of a candy — instead of shortbread cookie — spin. So if you, like me, forgot to load up your freezer during GSCS, you’re in luck.
4. Sparkling Lychee Juice Beverage, $3.99 for four 8.45 ounce cans
You know how mummies are buried with their favorite possessions, including food and drink? I’d like to humbly request that my coffin be filled with enough of this Lychee Sparkling Beverage to last me through the afterlife, please. It has just the right amount of sweet-tartness with a floral depth that would make this an ideal mocktail or base for a cocktail (ooh, maybe with some gin?).
It also perfectly mimics one of my favorite Japanese 7-11 beverages: Kirin’s Salted Lychee drink. I’m basically just a pinch of salt away from a delicious dupe.
5. Creamy Dreamy Whipped Ricotta, $3.49 for 8 ounces
Have you noticed lately that so many foods could be described as a cloud? Think about it: whipped feta, cloud eggs, whipped burrata. I certainly would like to float on any of those, but I do believe that Trader Joe’s Creamy Dreamy Whipped Ricotta is the most delicious cloud of them all.
Whipping out the graininess of traditional ricotta, this tub manages to be ultra-buttery and rich, yet airy and light. It’s essentially improved everything it’s touched so far: I’ve used dollops of it to doctor up the aforementioned Detroit-style pizza, and blended it with chopped basil for an easy two-ingredient pasta sauce. I can’t wait to see how it fares on toast topped with roasted tomatoes or roasted strawberries. Can’t go wrong, TBH.
1. Potato Cheese Sticks, $4.99 for 9.17 ounces
These should have been an alley-oop-slam-dunk-nothing-but-net winner of a snack, and yet? Not really. These battered and potato-covered mozzarella sticks on a stick are cartoonishly adorable, but they didn’t add up to much (outside of a fun texture and being on a stick).
I’d chalk this up to the batter, which is lightly sweetened, but detracts from the cheesy middle that’s not nearly sharp or salty enough to stand on its own. The potato exterior is great (it’s like finding all the good crispy french fries at the bottom of a fast-food bag all at once), but once again, not salty or seasoned enough to keep each bite exciting.
2. Earl Grey Blondies, $3.49 for 5.25 ounces
Another grocery item I was rooting for! So hard! But when someone says there’s Earl Grey flavor in a dessert or drink, I want the Earl himself to appear. All that floral, lemony flavor was just on the weaker end here, as if there was Earl Grey brewing a few buildings down the road. The texture is delightfully chewy, and there’s a good buttery backbone, but these blondies are missing some creamy-bergamoty-tannic complexity.
What new Trader Joe’s item are you most excited about? Tell us in the comments below.
